Did Ubah’s Meltdown Ruin ‘RHONY’ Forever?

Is that it?

The Real Housewives of New York City is in free fall. Erin is “really over vacationing with these girls,” and I agree. This trip to Puerto Rico didn’t need four episodes, nor did it save this bizarre season. And somehow, next week’s season finale takes place on the cast tour, still, making this the first Housewives season ever to feature a five-episode cast tour. Everyone wants theirs The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Bermuda momenti think

On paper this trip has been a decent success as Ubah unravels at every turn while Brynn continues to spin a web of lies and everyone else is caught in the crossfire. Really, despite cementing this season as the franchise’s worst ever, it’s pretty interesting to dissect.

There is a misery coming from the cast that deflates every moment. That is why, no matter how eye-catching the drama seems, it lacks the necessary charm. The RHONY women always act like they are on a corporate retreat, forced to sign up for their jobs. That may be because that is exactly what is happening.

Some weeks this means nothing happens. And some weeks the most uncharismatic battles known to man take over. Ubah’s specialty is creating intricate drama so confusing that the entire cast’s only reaction is to ignore it, and this diva gave a disastrous performance tonight.

Ubah is determined to make this ride as uncomfortable for the women as it is for the viewers, delivering a crash so severe it makes Jen Shah’s instability seem mild. Look, if our options are Ubah getting too hot or the ladies putting fake pubes in their bikinis to prank Jenna, I’ll always take the former.

Unfortunately, we also get the latter, but that’s the last thing I want to say about it. I lead with love and I have nothing positive to say about this show propensity for pranks.

The Ubah meltdown is kind of a less interesting Kelly Bensimon on Scary Island moment. Gummy worm-induced psychosis is simply more fun to watch than a debate over whether Puerto Rico’s water is “disgusting.” Don’t get me wrong, a tone-deaf insult to an entire country is a classic Housewives act—one of the original New York Housewives did it all too well — but Racquel is too true a messenger to make this moment a real fight. And Sai is on the image rehab train after becoming America’s Most Hated Housewife last year, so she’s letting it slide to keep her nothingness role.

Next, the ladies dare Erin to call Abe while they’re all there, which annoys Ubah to the max. She’s also tired of the stupid antics that flood this franchise.

It’s a coincidence that Ubah is so hurt by this harmless call, but she’s just in a bad mood. She hates everything and anything right now and there is nothing that can turn the tide.

“Have some respect! Some of us pray for our husbands every single day,” Ubah protests. If Erin really supported women, she’d delete her husband’s number and never call him again. She’s not a girl’s girl.

It’s no surprise that Erin is too deflated to even handle Ubah—though that makes their appearance at the Bravo FanFest besties panel all the more confusing. That’s how the whole cast feels.

They don’t care about each other so they don’t have the energy to do real battles. Ubah vs. Brynn has become the standard feud of the season simply because they are the two cast members who actually enjoy bickering and want attention. Everyone else just wants to hide behind the Housewives brand so they can shill Sonobello or something.

As Ubah continues to call himself friend of the year for shutting down Erin’s calls to Abe, Brynn inserts herself into the conversation to tell Ubah not to come get people’s marriages. This leads to the biggest match of the season as Ubah and Brynn trade low blows.

It’s a really funny moment in an otherwise dull episode where both come off as losers. Ubah is right that Brynn is extremely fake and Brynn is right that Ubah is nowhere near the household name she claims to be. Picking a side is futile, as is often the case in the world of Housewives.

That’s where Erin makes a mistake: She falls for Brynn’s pleas and takes sides. This causes a complete eruption – well, compared to what we are used to – setting us up for a final fallout.

It’s strange that the season is set to end with the trip, as it’s a great rarity in the franchise. Before RHOSLC Season 4, the only season to do so, was New Jersey Season 12, not exactly a banner season.

To give such a mean ride, a third of the season’s episode counts and the finale is such a mistake that it’s obvious, because as lukewarm as the cast is, the production is just as much to blame, if not more so.

From the over-the-top pranks to focusing on forced topics like the pigeon motif, while real plots fall by the wayside (what happened to Erin’s marital strife? How’s Racquel’s wedding planning going? How did Racquel and Mel get together, really? Is Jessel going to have another baby or no?), the production put its eggs in all the wrong baskets.

We’re staring down the barrel of the finale now with little fanfare. It is far from unwatchable and may be better received with time, but it is difficult to see the season as the success Bravo would justify the restart RHONY. With only one episode until the reunion, it’s too late to reverse course now. The real question is where we go from here, and that’s something the reunion will likely touch on. Until then, see you all next week.