My LOL-Worthy Email for the Federal Anti-Deia Tip Line + The Substack Warrior Archetype

On January 27, 2025By Littum

Earlier this week, Charles Ezell, acting director of the Office of Personnel Management, sent a memo to federal agency leaders. The call to action there? To tell their employees Report any DEIA programs or efforts Trying to fly under the radar in the wake of Trump’s executive order banning “radical and wasteful government DEI programs and preferences”. Thuggish Language – A threat of “negative consequences” – was used in an attempt to intimidate federal employees who choose not to snoop on their colleagues.

Not surprisingly, members of Internet Monkey Wrench Gang – myself among them – have not. So far, the tip line has signed up porn sites; the email Queer Fan Art; and been bombarded with Entire works of literature (Published serially, I hope, with a new chapter hitting the inbox every hour… Tip tip, fellow authors).

personally, I reported an irregular deia rental situation. Here is a screenshot of my email to the tip line; Full text is below the image.

To: [email protected]

Thank you very much for doing this. I know you all are raising a lot of hell about this, but without it, concerned citizens would not have the ability to help our government pull America out of the dark times we have entered.

Now here is the Deia problem I am here to report. It’s one of the most egregious examples of DEIA I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been personally harmed by this, so I’m very invested in seeing it fixed.

On November 5, it was announced that the manager of my company would be replaced. The company’s manager at the time was a highly qualified white man. He wasn’t universally loved, but he was always kind to us – even the people who criticized him. When he announced that he was stepping down, a very qualified person was set to take his place – frankly, she was even more qualified than the old boss. She had worked in every sub-sector our company served; She was the associate manager of the company, so she really already knew the role; And she had been a member of the company for quite a long time. She had a successful track record but never boasted about all the great things she did behind the scenes for the company.

Then, suddenly, it was announced that one of the old heads of the company would be returning to take the place of our retiring head. Not only was this person much less qualified than the associate head that we thought would be taking over – this person was the reason the company almost failed a few years back! When some of us employees pressed the matter, hoping for answers as to why this happened, we learned that this old company head was basically a crony of the majority shareholder of the company The company would have gone into if the current associate head became the new head of the company .

This crony deia hire will run our company into the ground. Not only does he hardly know what he’s doing – he spends far too much of his time on the golf course and is a lightning rod for problems in our industry. We have also seen confirmed information that he has previously engaged in embezzlement and corporate espionage for our competitors!

The only reason this person is being brought back on is because he is ready to be a puppet of our company’s majority shareholders and because a contingent of our employees who have been shown to be rabble rousers. -Qualified candidate took over this position.

As you can imagine, this Deia hire is very concerning to those of us who actually understand how this company works and why it was founded in the first place. We don’t want to lose our livelihood just because some underqualified so-and-so “deserves” to be in this position—the only person who deserves any position is the person who is *actually* most qualified to be there !

Again, thank you so much for bringing your attention to this matter plaguing our beautiful country. Once this kind of thing is stamped out of our great nation, I have no doubt that we can get America back on track to be all that we know she can be.

hot,

Jack Thomas

PS: Silly Me – I almost forgot to give you the info you need to research the company! The web address is whitehouse.gov. There’s even a blurry video of this Deia rental right on the website before you even get to any info about the company itself or any of us who actually help keep things flowing. Incredible.

Thanks again!

Do you chuckle and want to spread the joy? This post is public, so feel free to share it.

Friends, this kind Subversive, humor-based action is just one tip of an effective long-term resistance strategy … but that IS one of the tip.

In min Unfortunately, large interactions with members of the far right – including the kind that wear business suits – I have learned some very important things about them. Chief among these things is that They fucking hate to be laughed at. Hate it. They can throw literal punches and in public, they act as they can take Metaphorical… but beneath the puffed-up Billy-Badass exterior is a surprising fragility that they don’t want us to know about. We should definitely take them seriously and literally – We see where people who don’t take Trump seriously and literally got us. But in addition to believing that someone is a Nazi when their words and actions tell you that they are a Nazi – in addition to taking these things very seriously – we also have to laugh at them.

But in the same breath, I would also encourage this: Measure your lampooning against the people and institutions that are in power (whether via election or online/irl influence). Holding people – all people – accountable for their actions in the moment is one thing; Proactively ridiculing another working-class American whose political beliefs are the product of a hollowed-out public education system and the strength of right-wing propaganda is quite another.

Lest you think I’m defending Workaday, working-class Trump voters, let me assure you I’m not. Rather, I ask that when you loosen your weapons, energy and time, Lung for the braggadocious captain – not the shaky foot soldier. This foot soldier is probably starting to realize that he may have made a terrible mistake signing up for all of this. He’d just as soon go home, but his ego won’t let him because everyone’s watching…and the whole reason he got into this in the first place was because he felt disconnected from belonging and safety and a feeling of greater value in the World – and the recruiter promised him these things and more. If he runs away now, he’ll be further than ever from the warm glow of essential human needs, so he just hopes to fade into the background and then scuttle home and be a more careful man from here on out. But Nothing will bring the mercenary back to the dark cause faster (and with Actually conviction this time) than you run him through with your sharp humor … when the smooth talking recruiter who got him into this Rich-Man’s War First, it was within reach.

Share to be a good Vermonter

Yes, it may feel very good and very fair to pick up small fry opponents on Facebook and the like…but Will you Feel goodor will you win? If you’re just looking to feel good and do a little virtue signaling, sure…wasting your precious time and attention insulting the foot solider is the way to go. He is easy to pick.

But the people who go after foot soldiers are only foot soldiers themselves. This is how Battle works. But it’s not you – you’re on the substack, which – in internets – makes you an elite scout. Your modus operandi is to observe, think creatively, plan strategically – then strike where your skills will have the greatest cascade of impact. And because you’re smart, you’re not constantly hitting and planning, you’re always reacting to every opportunity – you’re also resting. You cook and eat. You write. You talk to loved ones. You laugh. You make coffee or tea. You are standing in the sunshine. You fall asleep in bed with a book, not a battle card. Only in this way can your well-developed skills be put to their best, highest and most sustainable form of resistance.

Even the most dedicated soldiers need to rest, refill their cups with joy, and recharge to full resilience. There are necessary battle cards – but there must also be beloved books, so to speak. The resistance we must engage in is not who we are—it is a thing we do. It does not replace caring for our whole self. If it does, we’ve already lost.

This weekend I encourage all of us (myself included) to make two lists:

A list of the specific people and institutions where your elite Scout talents (humor, writing, etc.) and your precious time can have the greatest pro-democracy impact; and
A list of the specific things that make you feel most rested, fulfilled, sharp, resilient and ready to return to the good fight.

If it’s not uncomfortably vulnerable, I hope you’ll share your lists in the comments. We can all draw help, humor, strength, ideas and resources from each other in these strange times.