Terrible action-comedy proves that Oscar Curs is alive and well

Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose Make sure a weak one-two punch in Love hurtsA Lamely Comic Beat-’em-Up from the Production Company, 87north, responsible for John Wick Franchise.

Jonathan Eusebio’s movie is a goof like 2021’s Bob Odkirk-Headlined No In it, it puts the non-action stars through Slam-Bang rings, as the idea is that it is both fun and exciting to see ordinary actors beat, kick, stabbing and shoot evil guys. The most important pick -up from this boring dud, however, is that winning one Academy Award Is no guarantee of continued success on the big screen.

After taking gold statuettes home to the best supportive actor in 2022 and best supportive actress in 2021, Quan and DeBose are thrown as unlikely badasses in Love hurtsAlthough the former Marvin has given up his past life as a professional killer to work as a real estate agent.

Cheerful baking of Valentine’s Day cookies to his colleagues, including Loyal Ashley (Lio Tipton) and commuting to work on his bike (complete with a helmet for security), Marvin seems to be a cheerful any man without a violent bone in his Body – A performance conveyed by Ashley’s remark that as angry as he had to get on his rival real estate agent Zaks (Real Estate Brothers‘Drew Scott that came to no effect), there is a black belt in karate, he is too wimpy to fight.

Marvin may have left the past, but that doesn’t mean it’s finished with him, and after arriving at the office, he is attacked by Raven (Mustafa Shakir), a colleague-murderer-for-rent whose gimmick is both attached to the forearm guards, and he writes poetry about his deadly calling.

A skirmish follows, staged by director Eusebio (in his functional debut) with Breakneck Martial-Arts choreography and matching editing, the scene is cut as sharp as Raven’s weapon. From a technical point of view it is a fine opening salvo for a wannabe-adrenalized affair. Still, there is some particular old hat by the whole-a annoying feeling that eleven years removed from Keanu Reeves’ Maiden Wick-IIn excursion, this type of match has evolved into Kliché.

The reason Raven has urged Marvin is that his employer Knuckles (Daniel Wu), who is Marvin’s Criminal Kingpin Brother, has received a card from Rose (DeBose), his former lawyer, whom he had ordered Marvin to put six meters in the ground for stealing millions. Marvin has also received one of these valentines and he knows that he is now in deep trouble with his siblings.

Also disturbed by this turn is Knuckles’ new number two Merlo (Cam Gigandet), which is the real double crown that stole from Knuckles and fears that Rose has returned to postpone his duplicity. To silence Rose and Marvin, he employs two hitmen, King (Marshawn Lynch) and Otis (André Eriksen), and although they are a brutal duo, they also spend plenty of time banging with each other, often about the fact that Otis ‘Wife finds him’ emotionally constipated. ‘

Lynch is a violent personality but King and Otis are the fifth generation of photocopies by Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormares Fargo Killers. That said, their derivativity is a perfect fit to Love hurts.

In just 83 minutes, Euseio’s film acts as if it is in an everlasting haste with packing things up, with everything that is struck at the same fast pace. After a tussle with King and Otis finds Marvin Rose, who tells him that she is ready to get out of the shadows and regain her life because “does not hide to live.” Still, Marvin struggles to feel likewise as he really loves the non-description new daily day, he is carved for himself, and certainly will not return to his previously homicidal ways. The complicating factor in all this is that Marvin chose to spare rose because he loves her – a crucial detail that, like so many plot points, is told rather than dramatized.

Love hurts Giving everyone a single superficial property, whether it’s knuckles who love Boba -te or Ashley who falls hard for Raven because his poetry speaks to her (undefined) dissatisfaction and it strives for pathos with the permission of Cliff (Quan’s GOONES Pal Sean Astin), Marvin’s Cowboy Hat-Most Chief Foster him with a Real Estate Award and eventually stands up to him against Knuckles by praising him as his “brother.”

In addition, Rhys Darby appears as Knuckles’ accountant Kippy, mainly, so he can worry and plan without the help of his two forts, which he loses with permission from Duct Tape over his mouth. The course is Looney Melodies Silly and Meth-Head Manic, and it’s not long before they get exhausting, not least by it because Matthew Murray, Josh Stådard and Luke Passmore script do not deliver a single fun quip.

In the decades between his breakout -teenagers hits and his All everywhere at once Comeback, Quan worked as an action -choreographer (highlighted by collaboration with Hong Kong legend Corey Yuen) and he is more than up to the challenge of Love hurts‘Extended strokes.

Unfortunately, the film spends so little time first establishing Marvin as a Gee-Whiz impairment that when he shows his true colors, the contrast is not a funny shock; Rather, it just plays as the most predictable of surprises. DeBose manages even worse, saddled with a character that is only a number of Sassy, ​​self-insured poses and greeting card sheets. On the heels of last year’s Argylle and The collar hunterIt is another in what will be a large number of post-Oscar misses for the actress.

Lynch gets to tackle someone as he shouts “Beastmode!”, DeBose becomes aggressive with a taser, and Quan averts opponents at the same time he tries to convince a couple to sign onto the dotted line for a new home, with Film racing from one to the next at almost supersonic speed.

Had he been given a second to develop Marvin in addition to his basic stick-figure catch, Quan might have done this material, if not quite work, at least charming loopy. Unfortunately, Eusebio’s true love is clumsy dialogue and now-conventional clashes, all jazzy by a few flashy camera movements and sweet musical signals (such as Barry White’s “You are the first, the last, my everything”). It is not amour leading to ankles in Love hurts—It is unoriginality.