Why Southern Charm’s Craig Conover Retired From Drinking (Exclusive)

• Craig Conover returns to Southern charm season 10 after largely cutting down on his alcohol consumption to focus on his business, Sewing Down South, and building a future with girlfriend Paige DeSrobo
• The Pillow talk author tells PEOPLE that “probably once every two months I’ll have a drink or two”
• As for the next steps with DeSorbo, Conover says he and fellow Bravolebrity are “playing the long game” and want to “die together one day”

Craig Conover’s life may look a little different in season 10 of Southern charm.

“I pretty much stopped drinking,” Conover, 35, tells PEOPLE. “Sure once every other month I’ll have a drink or two, but it’s drastically better than drinking every night or every other night. I’m having fun finding that middle ground.”

Thinking of settling down with his girlfriend, Cottage‘s Paige DeSorbo, prompted Conover to make the change.

“I had made a decision months before the season started to become more husband and father material than just the fun boyfriend,” he says. “I could see it in Paige’s eyes that she saw the person I could be. A lot of the energy I used to spend going out was now put into my business, so my schedule has increased drastically. I just feel like a regular person now instead of someone waiting to film again.”

Conover’s father quit drinking after he was born, which was encouraging Sewing down south the founder to do the same.

“I was talking to my dad and I was like, ‘Well, nothing bad’s going to happen’. And he’s like, “Yeah, you’re right. You don’t sort out. You don’t drink as much anymore, but nothing good happens either. You live a very stagnant life and it’s very repetitive.” And that was a good point,” says Conover “I always imagined doing that (like my dad) I just didn’t realize you had to start somewhere. ”

Conover used the Reframe app to help him on his journey to sobriety. “I didn’t know any better. I was just filling my time. Every activity for me was a drinking activity, and I never knew the world outside of it,” Conover admits. “That’s always been my priority, and I’ve found value in other things. It has been a true blessing.”

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Now, Conover devotes more energy to working out, spending quality time with her family, traveling with DeSorbo, 32, and tending to her garden and bees. “Healthy activities,” he says. “There’s a part of me that I haven’t necessarily killed, but I’ve put away. And I think people who really liked that side of me will have to grieve, which I never have considered before.”

Some of these people include his Southern charm costs.

“I don’t want to give away this season, but the problem is if somebody who’s not ready to evolve a little bit, they don’t know how to give up one thing for everything else,” Conover says. “And they say, ‘How could you possibly give up all our good times?’ And you think, ‘Well, there’s a lot of other stuff out there.’ But I want people to know that there is a lot of life between seasons and a lot of work that you have to put in. It doesn’t happen overnight. I have a long way to go, but I am better, than I was a year ago.”

Shep Rose appeared poised to make a similar change after blacking out at last year’s BravoCon, but Conover didn’t immediately respond to his request for support. “In my opinion, Shep was not ready to do what it takes to actually make a change,” he says Pillow talk says the author. “I’ve heard that story 1,000,000 times from him and 1,000,000 times from myself, so it just came from experience with him. But I know he really wants something more out of life and I’m excited for him to find it.”

Conover is also excited about a future with DeSorbo. The reality stars recently put breakup rumors to rest when they posted about spending Thanksgiving together, but the couple understands the intrigue surrounding their relationship that comes with broadcasting their lives on TV.

“When people ask about me and Paige, Paige says it well, she says, ‘I get it. When I watch TV shows, I feel like I want to know that I’m a part of it,'” says Conover. “We share our lives with everyone, but there is a lot of noise.”

The duo tries to block it out, hoping to be “healthier than a lot of other couples you see on your TV,” says Conover. “We’re playing the long game. It would be easy to go for instant gratification, but the foundation we’re building is that we die together one day, not just make it fun.”

Despite constant fan speculation, Conover says he and DeSorbo have taken the pressure off themselves to take the next step in their relationship.

“We know we’re going to get married one day and when it happens it’s going to be a lot of fun, but when that is, who knows?” he says. “When you take yourself out of that pressure cooker and have a little perspective and travel, life is a little more simple. There’s no need to put pressure on it. I think people want a lot more of our lives to see , because we take our time, than if we had to rush it.”

Conover said the rumor about last season off Southern charm that it wouldn’t be the “end of the world” if he and DeSorbo broke up. But now, heading into the 10th season of the Bravo show, “I’m committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work,” he says. “We really don’t know what that looks like. We’ve probably got a couple of years before we start having kids and then we’ll have to figure it out. But I’ve really taken this normal role now of being a happy wife , a happy life.”

He sees himself starting a family with DeSorbo, eventually living in the same place when that happens.

“The goal is when we start having kids, we want to be able to stay home with them as much as possible,” says Conover. “We had to make the decision: do we live a traditional life with someone who isn’t each other and I find someone in Charleston or not? We decided finding your person is the hard part and then we’ll figure it out afterwards.”

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Southern charm will premiere on Thursday 5 December at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.