Dave Chappelle’s ‘SNL’ monologue: Wishing Trump the best of luck

Dave Chappelle took the stage at Studio 8H for the new year’s inaugural episode of “Saturday Night Live,” marking his fourth time hosting the show.

He walked out on stage wearing a suit and smoking a cigarette and said, “Boy, I’ll tell you something. I’m very honest. I’m down tonight. And it started in October. Lorne Michaels called me.”

Chappelle told how he asked him to host the show. “The first episode after the election,” Chappelle recalls. “And I was like, nah, I’m cool.” He describes how he then asked Michaels to: “Save the date as close to January 6th. You know what? I could just get rid of all these old Trump jokes. I will!” The comedian paused and said, “The moment I said yes, LA burst into flames!”

Chappelle, who is known for controversial jokes, including those about transgender people, said: “I’m tired of being controversial. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. It’s way too early to try to joke about such a disaster. This one is close at home.”

Chappelle rattled off the names of actors he had worked with, like Dennis Quaid, who have been affected by the ongoing fires in LA. “It broke my heart,” Chappelle said. He noticed all the negative comments online about celebrities losing their homes. “You see that right there? That’s why I hate poor people,” Chappelle laughed. “Because they can’t see past their own pain.”

“The other day on the news they said these fires were the costliest tragedy that has ever happened in the history of the United States. I think it’s because people in LA have good things. I could burn 40,000 acres in Mississippi for six or seven dollars,” Chappelle said. He also speculated on the various conspiracy theories about what started the fires. “If you were a rational person, you would at least consider the possibility that God hates these people.” Chappelle joked.

Sitting on a stool and smoking, Chappelle continued, “A lot of poor people were affected, too. A lot of those people found out the week of the fires that they lost their fire insurance. Luigi’s like, ‘You’re welcome.'” Rounding up Luigi Mangione, he said, “That kid almost planned the perfect crime. The only thing he forgot was to shave his eyebrows.”

Chappelle, who lives in Ohio, spoke about Donald Trump’s comments about Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, last year. “Trump is a wild guy. He said Haitians in Springfield, OH were eating people’s dogs and cats. I live a town over from Springfield. That’s not what happened in Springfield at all.” Chappelle recounts how he wanted to lend his support after those comments. “Every day I drove to Springfield and had lunch at the Haitian restaurant.” meat was. But whatever it was, it just fell off the leg.”

“It’s not fun being famous anymore,” said the comic, who likened being famous to storming the beaches of Normandy and losing comrades in battle. He spoke about “Puffy” and the allegations surrounding Diddy. “A lot of my friends ask me, they say, Dave, did you know anything about those Freak Off parties (Diddy hosted)?” Chappelle smiled.

He later said he wasn’t invited to the parties because, “Oh my god, I’m ugly! That’s a hard way to find out.” He continued: “Can you imagine if you were me, reading the paper and finding out: everyone in Hollywood was having an orgy behind your back?”

Noting Donald Trump’s inauguration on Monday, Chapelle said, “Here’s the thing: On Monday, Donald Trump is coming back. It’s going to be the 47^th chairman. All the flags at half-mast because Jimmy Carter died.” Chappelle then told a story about seeing a photo of Carter in Palestine with people cheering for the former president, and he said, “The picture brought tears to my eyes.”

Chappelle said while he wasn’t sure Carter was a good president, “He was a good man. It made me proud to see that.”

Concluding the unusually long monologue, Chappelle said, “The presidency is not a place for petty people. Donald Trump, I know you watch the show, man, remember whether people voted for you or not, they’re all counting on you.”

He wished Trump the best of luck, saying: “The whole world is counting on you. Please do better next time.” Chappelle packed an emotional punch, concluding, “Don’t forget your humanity for displaced people, whether they’re in the palisades or Palestine.”

Watch his monologue below: