Denise Richards recalls how she ‘froze’ during previous sexual assaults

Warning: this story contains spoilers from the two-hour season 3 premiere of Special Forces: The world’s toughest test.

Denise Richards opens up about the lasting impact of sexual assault.

On season 3 premiere of Special Forces: The world’s toughest test on Jan. 8, the actress, 53, and her fellow recruits were challenged to complete a helicopter pullout — where they attempted to jump from a boat onto a hovering helicopter and push themselves up to the cabin.

The challenge – taken from the Army’s Special Forces selection process itself – prompted Richards to recall his past. She explained: “I really want to learn how not to be overwhelmed by fear. I’ve been through traumatic situations that have been very scary for me. I want to learn how to deal with those issues and become stronger.”

After she failed the challenge by being unable to lift herself to the cockpit of the helicopter, the Directorate Staff (DS) brought her in for a discussion after they noticed she had “a deer in the headlights kind of look” during the experience.

“It’s hard. I’m completely out of my comfort zone,” Richards said, before adding, “I’m not petrified. I’m emotional right now.”

DS noted that she “froze” during the exercise, and the mother-of-three replied: “Yeah, I’m completely overwhelmed by certain scary situations and I want to learn how to keep calm and do something.”

Richards further elaborated on her reason for doing the show, explaining: “Part of the reason I wanted to do this course is because I’ve been in situations where I’m freezing and I can’t function, I can’t even talk to protect myself.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum – who is mother to daughters Sami, 20, Lola, 19, and Eloise, 13 – then recalled a traumatic situation with her husband Aaron Phypers.

“We were driving. He wanted to take me to (a) set,” she said. “He didn’t want me to go by myself, thank God, and we got physically shot in his truck and I was sitting on the floor and I was literally peeing. I was so scared… I froze.”

“The first time I experienced it was when I was 15 and I noticed a man following me,” she continued. “He came up behind me, put his hand over my mouth, grabbed my vagina and started pulling me and I froze like I couldn’t even scream for help.”

After admitting she had only told her husband about the sexual assault, Richards broke down in tears, adding: “It’s so scary to be in that situation you know, that age and be that vulnerable. And I have three daughters , and I want them to never be able to go through it. And also, if something, God forbid, happens to be strong enough.”

In a confessional, Richards reflected on how she has not moved past the sexual assault. “I think I haven’t talked about a lot of what I’ve been through and it’s very scary. I don’t know if I would be able to get over my past,” she said.

After bungee jumping from a 130-ft. high bridge and attempting a surf immersion challenge — they repeatedly duck underwater while linking arms — in the second episode, Richards realized the Fox bootcamp-style reality series had become too much for her.

As she complained of back pain, which caused her to “barely” be able to walk, Richards tore off her bracelet and quit. “I really want to have the whole experience, but the older I get, I don’t know if I’m physically able to do it,” she said.

Never miss a story – sign up PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to keep you updated on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Special Forces: The world’s toughest test sent on Wednesdays at 8 PM ET on Fox.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.